Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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