Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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