Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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