i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
