So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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