I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The uberlube is also flammable
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
