yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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