y did u give ur computer a hand job?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
