I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
