Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
