can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
