Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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