I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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