marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
