So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
