I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
