I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
