you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
