Don't you send me to vm
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
