For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
