Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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