ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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