they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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