I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
