just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
