i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
