i just wanna soil my oats bro
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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