I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Girls should come with a carfax report
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
