just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
