I just made out with a guy for $7.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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