so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
