i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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