Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
should my penis look like a turkey
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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