we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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