It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
