I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
