Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
