I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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