Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
