You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
