she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
