Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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