My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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