I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
