I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
