sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
