i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
