my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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