I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
