i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
